I feel like I’ve actually had a few moments of rest recently. Perhaps it is because the boys are getting just a bit older, or when my in-laws taking my kids several times while in Zion, or my mom watching them now so I can work, or just the long summer days, but it’s been nice.
I have this push for aesthetic holisticity, intentional living and order. I feel like I’m finally making progress on clutter (in small spaces of course), thinking and dreaming about decor possibilities that aren’t just beautiful (and that I don’t have to have NOW, which is a change) but also enhance one’s ability to do and be with others, reimagining my marriage and work hard at growing it rather than being used to how things have been, reading and thinking about growing in my understanding of who Jesus is as a person and not just a bite of theology (I’ve started Dallas Willard’s The Divine Conspiracy to this end, given that it has been recommended by two of my favorite women).
It feels good to not thumb through magazines with an “I want that!” but to see beautiful objects and vistas and let them inspire without fueling dissatisfaction. I finally feel like I’m moving (not just paddling with my head bobbing in and out of the water), and although moving often feels like circling more often than not, at least I’m enjoying the confluences.